Rarely Likable

PIMPAGE ALERT

1. This is a little overdue, but...I've got a heartwarming postapocalyptic holiday tale up over at DOGZPLOT, which also got a very nice mention on the Fictionaut blog. As it's sort of a tradition around here when I've got a new story somewhere, here is a fun fact about "Christmas Morning": Kids aren't often in my stories, and even less often do my kid characters have anything in common with my real, actual kid. This story is an exception in both ways. Tyler and my daughter get equally worked up about seat belt usage.

2. I am pleased by, and grateful for, the response so far to The Northville Review's call for submissions. Never did I think I'd be able to say this so quickly, but: If you send us something? You'll be in excellent company. If you happen to be reading this and wondering why the hell haven't I heard back about my submission, response times should pick up now that the holidays are partly over.

3. Most important of all: I am now officially dealing in cookies. Here's the info sheet on this year's Girl Scout cookie types. All Abouts are gone, replaced by Dulce de Leche. Cookies are $4 a box, and orders will arrive in early March. If you'll need me to ship, I can give you an estimate upon request. I can also assure confidentiality if you want 20 boxes of Do-Si-Dos, or my best guess at which cookie box will have unintentionally hilarious copywriting on it. gnomeloaf(at)gmail(dot)com!

It'll take a hundred lifetimes

It's 4am, and I can't sleep. Also, I have this song stuck in my head.

Followup on weary commuters

This is the way the world works now. If someone is stupid enough to sit there yammering away on their cellphone on a busy morning rush hour train, they’re not capable of unlearning the behavioral patterns that generated the problem in the first place. The Clublife guy, about John Clifford. (The Village Voice also offers some details on Clifford's technique, which is just, well, ugh. A commenter who identifies himself as Clifford also appears.)

STFU, now with more U

Long Island man shouts obscenities at fellow commuters, is acquitted. It's been over ten years, but man, my 90 minute train ride comes right back to me when I read something like this.

The article's unclear on the manner of John Clifford's "seat-hogging," which to my mind is pretty important. I have a hard time believing he literally uses all five seats -- he would have been pulled off the train and torn to pieces by now, if he did that. Also, what does he do on the commute back? It's more likely that the talkative clique in the car thinks they can't sit together (and therefore be quieter, but in my experience that doesn't help much) because Clifford's staked out that fifth seat with the legroom. But who knows?

I freely admit I'd be one of the commuters who silently was appreciative of Clifford being the car troll. I'm not even remotely a morning person, and I used to use those commutes to sleep on the way there, and decompress on the way back. I had my own tangles with morning commuters, and as it happens I've discussed one here previously.

This line is the one I love most in the article, because it's a story in itself:

(Clifford) admitted that he had threatened to make Ms. DeCurtis’s life hell, but said he knew personal details about her only because she had talked about them so loudly to her friends.

My present to you!

On the feast of my nativity, I leave you with this:

The entry you fear the most

My new dream job: Choosing music for American Idol finalists. Last week was bad in that regard, but this week was also embarrassing. It's 70's week and no Wings? No Elton John? No David Bowie? No ABBA? No Cher? No Rod Stewart? No Jefferson Abomination (no Elvin Bishop?)? No Eagles? No Electric Light Orchestra?

Why go with a tired Grease revival or multiple Heart failures instead of something like Yvonne Elliman's "If I Can't Have You"? And have we truly forsaken "Hot Stuff"?

David Archuleta knocked "Imagine" out of the park, yes, but doesn't 1971 feel like cheating? Shouldn't he have been made to sing "It Don't Come Easy" as the second half of his performance?

Big props to Jason Castro, though, because this is about the best thing that has ever resulted from Andy Gibb.

This meme is my new bicycle.

Barack Obama is your new bicycle. So is Michelle. Ron Paul is also your new bicycle, as is John McCain.

Hillary Clinton, however,  is mom jeans.

(Explanation -- and a few more bicycles -- here.)

I've been quiet lately because

I've got other projects on the brain. Also, I write posts and then delete them. Also, I may have the usual  January Captain Trips.

But I'm still planning on going to AWP via a 60 mile long tunnel with a trapdoor at the end, and -- hel-lo, RSS readers -- I still post things in the sidebar, which can also be accessed here.

I'll be back, and all that.

Hey la, hey laaaaaaa

I saw that University of Phoenix commercial for around the millionth time, and once again thought I bet that background song, the only thing that makes the commercial tolerable, is pretty good in its entirety.

Hunts for commercial songs can take forever -- last I checked, people were still going to pieces over which remix of Paul Van Dyk's "Time of Our Lives" was used in the Jeep Cherokee campaign last spring.  This search, however, took five seconds. The song is "Bleeding Heart Show" by the New Pornographers. And I was right about it being pretty good in its entirety.

But that's not really what this is about. After uncovering that mystery, I went looking for a video on YouTube -- probably with an eye toward being snarky about comparison. Didn't find an official video, but I did find a video made by a couple of high school kids that...wait for it...is pretty good. There's something really sweet about the montage that starts at 3:30...but I think you need to have watched the simple story leading up to it, to understand why.

I have a feeling that even if there IS an official video for the song? I'd still like this one more.

(Edited to add: The lyrics don't match the commercial OR the video at all, which I also happen to think is pretty good.)

Insert holiday cliche phrase here

First some local chuckleheaded woman gropes my mall's Santa, and now this.

Would love to say more, but haircut wrapping up end of quarter car stereo presents packing craft project molasses story draft oil change broken computer cleanup stomach bug.   Blargh.